Professionalism & depression

As a professional practitioner I definitely need to work on my time management skills. This has been evident across most briefs and modules - most notably OUIL405. Although I will admit during that period I was struggling with depression a bit, but I didn't get the help I needed to pull myself out of it and get the work done that I needed to.

I'm aware that I'm not the only one that goes through these issues, and some practitioners manage to function perfectly well and produce a high standard of work whilst juggling personal issues alongside, and I need to find ways to maintain my professionalism in trying times. One main issue I identify is my sleep schedule becoming a problem - staying up later than I should and not getting enough sleep or essentially becoming nocturnal, which isn't good for my brain.

During summer months I usually find myself feeling happier, possibly because I'm getting enough vitamin D from sunlight. I generally eat a healthy, well-balanced diet and cook myself proper meals, so I usually get enough nutrients from that.

I also sometimes struggle to talk to people about my feelings and motivation problems, because I feel like a burden to my friends and family when I know they all have their own issues too. So that's something I need to work on too. I could also try talking to people who are impartial and talk to depressed people for a living! I'm just a bit scared sometimes, but I need to push myself, because I know that I can create a high standard of work, and the work I do whilst I'm depressed doesn't reflect the majority of my practice.

Getting 48% in the OUIL405 module has really opened my eyes a bit to the fact that I need to work harder at getting myself better, so that I have the motivation to progress through the modules at a higher standard, as I know I'm capable of it. I got 71% in the OUIL403 module, so going from a first to a third within the space of a few weeks isn't acceptable to me or, I'm sure, to my tutors. So, I'm trying! I'm trying to try harder.

Wes Anderson

Wes Anderson is one of my favourite directors. He's a visual designer, art director and interior decorator among other things, as well as a film director.

All his scenes are carefully composed and constructed down to the last minute detail, and everything is thought about. The visual elements of frame, composition, line and depth are all thought about and employed well. There's always a strong theme of symmetry in his cinematography, and colour schemes and patterns/textures are thought about and pieced together beautifully. There's a childlike naivety as well as vintage and retro visual themes running through his work, and although Anderson is not an 'illustrator', each scene and composition of set tells its own narrative without even needing the characters.

I really admire his ability to tell a story through set design - it's not all about the characters and the people - the context the characters appear in must be considered too. His colour palettes are always beautiful and I often look to him for inspiration, as well as because his films are amazing!

Big Heads - Glyn Dillon

The main thing I took away from the session with Glyn Dillon was the hours of work he mentioned. Getting up at 9 and working until 3. It sounds so exhausting and daunting to think that that lies in my future. It's scary. It's hard. This kind of stress kinda makes me shut down.

Even when I KNOW I can do something, I put it off because of how much work it seems like. I've definitely been there at 4AM trying to finish something for a deadline, and functioned off little sleep in the past. I'm doing it now! When my depression flares up though, it is harder to function on 4 hours or less sleep. It's a very impractical life but if I love what I do, I should be able to do it, right?

I need to find better methods of coping with stress and find ways to make the work fun and not seem like work. Sometimes making lists and planning in my notebook and diary helps me, but sometimes I forget to look in the diary at notes I've made. 

Ah stressstressstressstressstressstress, this is hard